How I Met Your Mother
by Symphony17
Summary: A simple question before bed prompts a less-than-satisfactory answer, so Shunsui takes it upon himself to enlighten his children on how, exactly, he met their mother. Short, fluffy, family piece. Kyoraku/Nanao pairing, in case you didn't know already. :P


Disclaimer: Alas! I own nothing. Not even a Renji plushie. Bleach belongs to the almighty Tite Kubo. And thanks to distraught . hallelujah for plot inspiration and talking it over with me.

* * *

"My, my. Is that the time?"

Shunsui Kyoraku sighed, hoisted himself up with a soft groan and then put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Thanks for the tea, Jushiro. Makes it almost like old times again."

It had been many decades since the defeat of Aizen, and much had changed. Old friends had fallen in battle and new had arrived. The Substitute Soul Reaper Ichigo Kurosaki had died and come to Soul Society, graduated the Academy in record time, and promptly been assigned as Squad 11's lieutenant. Kenpachi had finally kicked the bucket the year before, taking five Menos with him, and a much-matured Yachiru had taken his place as captain after long debate.

With another sigh, Kyoraku pulled himself from his thoughts, smiled at his friend, and then reached up to plop his straw hat, much-mended and replaced over the years, onto his head.

Humming softly to himself, he left Squad 13 headquarters and flash-stepped to his own. He listened at the door to his office and, hearing no unintelligible grumblings that meant his darling Nanao-chan was still working (and feeling quite abandoned by her captain, to boot), he opened the door and poked his head in. Five neat piles of paperwork sat on his desk with 'Nanao' written all over them in the way every corner aligned perfectly with the next.

He chuckled to himself. _She seems to have become quite obsessive-compulsive in her old age,_ he thought to himself with a grin as he looked around the room again, before his eyes came to rest with horror on the concealed door to the secret cupboard where he had stored some of his best sake. It was wide open, with a note pinned to the inside.

Kyoraku walked over and read it mournfully, his shoulders slumping.

'Captain,

Don't worry. Your precious sake is safe. But you're not getting it back until you finish the paperwork I left for you. I'm sure you've seen it. Enjoy!'

Looking from the note, to his empty sake cupboard, to his desk piled with paperwork and back again, he 'tch'ed, sighed once more, and let the note flutter to the floor, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

He looked at the paperwork one more time and shook his head, muttering something under his breath that sounded like 'Tomorrow works. Or the day after, or the day after _that_…'

Humming tunelessly to himself, he closed the office door behind him and took his time walking to his home.

As he neared the door, he saw the red glow of firelight through the 1-inch crack it had been left open, and voices drifted out to him. He plastered himself to the wall and sneaked up to the opening, pressing his eye against the crack and smiling as he took in the scene before him.

"Mama, how did you and Daddy meet?"

The long, thin fingers paused in their writing, and lips curved upward in a smile.

"Why do you ask, Chiaki?"

A shrug of small shoulders. "Just 'cause."

Arms reached out to pick up the child and set her on her mother's knee. In the other corner of the room, Chiaki's older brother stirred and lifted his head, sensing a story in the air.

"I see. Hmm. Well, when I was younger, there was an incident with some of the people we call Visoreds. And it left Daddy without a lieutenant, so he needed me to come in and make sure he did his paperwork and didn't spend all day drinking and wasting time."

Kyoraku winced. "Nanao-chaaaaan," he whined as he slid open the door and stepped inside. "What lies are you poisoning our children's minds with?"

He bent down to look Chiaki in the eyes and whispered loudly, "Your mother tells such boring stories, doesn't she? Ouch!" He turned reproachful eyes on Nanao, who was smiling smugly as she rubbed the edge of her hand.

"Hmph!" Kyoraku walked over to the couch and sat next to their son, Akihito.

"Come here," he gestured to Chiaki, who wriggled off her mother's lap and ran over to her father, climbing onto the sofa and snuggling up next to him. "Let me tell you how I _really_ met your mother…"

* * *

The dashing hero of this story, young Shunsui Kyoraku, grabbed his horse's reins as the animal reared in terror. In front of it, the dragon waited, mouth open, sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight.

(In a fire-lit room light-years away, a father curled his fingers into claws and snapped his teeth at his daughter, causing her to scream and laugh.)

It had been hours since the dragon had first attacked him, and the sun was already sinking below the horizon.

Finally getting his horse under control, Shunsui took a deep breath, readied his spear for one more attack, and charged forward.

The dragon must have also been tired from his long fight, for he didn't quite move fast enough to get out of the way of Shunsui's attack. The tip of the spear plunged into the dragon, killing it dead!

(A daughter giggled and a son snorted in derision as their father acted out the dragon's dramatic death, clutching his hands to his chest and collapsing back against the couch.)

Shunsui was exhausted from his battle, so he slept the night in the clearing where he'd fought the dragon, but the next morning, he urged his horse on and they soon arrived at the castle where he lived, for Shunsui was a prince, who could do whatever he wanted with his time, but often chose to spend it helping others…

("Nanao!" A father said pitifully at his wife's disbelieving snort.)

Prince Shunsui rode back to his castle and left his horse in the stables, but as he was walking up to his room, his best friend Jushiro Ukitake ran up to him, gasping (a little girl giggled at the mention of her favorite [honorary] uncle).

"Shunsui!" he said. "Have you heard?"

"Well, no," our hero said, folding his arms and fixing his friend with a cross glare."That just means glaring at him, Chiaki," a mother explained.)

"I've only been home 3 minutes," Prince Shunsui said to his friend.

"There's a princess trapped in a castle a day's ride from here. She's being besieged by a band of renegades called Hollows," Jushiro told the prince."_Ukitake-san_," hissed a wife to her husband as he feigned deafness.)

Worried for the princess, Prince Shunsui immediately decided to go help her, but first he took a bath and got a drink and a hot meal, because he was very tired from fighting the dragon. But as soon as he was ready, he and his best friend mounted their horses and rode towards the castle of the besieged princess.

(A father's keen eye noted the drooping eyelids of his listeners and he glanced over to his wife. She flashed a soft smile and motioned him to hurry up.)

After all sorts of adventures, which you can hear another time, Prince Shunsui and his friend arrived at the princess's castle. Sure enough, the Hollows were grouped around the castle, waiting for the princess and her servants to give up. (A sharp glance from his wife prompted a hasty addition from the storyteller.) But the princess was a strong one, and she would never give up. And her servants loved her very much and followed her directions without question.

So the princess and her servants boarded up the castle windows, brought up rocks to the slingshots on the roof, and threw them at the Hollows. They were doing well fighting the Hollows on their own, but there were just too many for the princess and her servants to defeat. So Prince Shunsui and his friend drew their swords and rode into battle.

As soon as the princess saw the prince coming to her rescue, she got her own sword and rode out to join them. And together, Prince Shunsui, his friend Jushiro, and the princess fought off the Hollows and saved her castle.

When the battle was over, Prince Shunsui looked at the princess's torn dress, messy hair, and bloodied sword (a wife glared at her husband for adding such gory details to a children's bedtime story). The princess got off her horse and walked over to him, bowing her head stiffly.

"Thank you," she said. "Without your help, I am sure the Hollows would have beaten us."

She stood straight and looked him in the eye. "I am Princess Nanao," she said.

(A sleepy little girl smiled and exclaimed, "Mommy, you're a princess!" Her mother smiled lovingly and glanced up at her husband, waiting for him to continue.)

Prince Shunsui thought Princess Nanao was very beautiful and an excellent fighter, and Princess Nanao was very grateful to her rescuer, so Prince Shunsui asked her to marry him, even though it meant he couldn't have as much fun as he used to.

The prince and princess got married, with the prince's best friend as best man, and decided to leave their castles. With Jushiro, they moved to a place called Soul Society and hid the fact that they were royalty. They got new jobs and new houses but always stayed friends with Jushiro. They had two beautiful children Akihito and Chiaki, and, although the princess did have a tendency to whack the prince when she was annoyed with him (a husband winced in anticipation of a blow that didn't come, instead looking up at his wife's soft smile), they lived happily… ever… after.

* * *

A father kissed his daughter and lifted her up, gently bringing her into her bedroom and pulling the blankets up around her. As he lifted his son from the couch, the boy stirred and yawned.

"You're not really a prince. But that was a cool story."

A father smiled and shook his head. "Don't be so sure of that," he whispered, as he put his son to bed.

He walked out to the living room where his wife waited for him, leaning against the doorway. Prince Shunsui kissed Princess Nanao, and they and their two children lived happily…

Ever…

After.

* * *

Thank you very much for reading! If you could possibly take a moment of your time to click that little button down there labeled "Review," it would be much appreciated. Constructive criticism welcomed! I would also like to thank the anonymous reviewer who reminded me that I probably should have changed (boy) and (boy's name) to Akihito's actual name. -sheepish grin- Thanks.


End file.
